Luke wie E. warum Wilson

"So onward through the murk and the uncertainty, siftting through the days patient and carefully, always to get to where she is"

This good morning, I woke up 25 minutes late.

Don't touch my hands, they are mechanical like a machine and just as cold. They work at these keys, spell out my name. They are cut, they bleed, and they heal slowly. They work at my skin and clean up their mess. They grip pens and pencils, fold and sort papers. They move with dizzying speed as white spiders, working and working for me. They support my head, support your waist. I am a slave to them, they are a slave to me. I have a question.

Somehow I doubt you are the sortof thing worth loving. But honestly, I can't help it. I am like a moth who just wants to look deep into your ultraviolet eyes. Bloody beaches strewn with uniform bodies and they fell before you, for you, and you say your thanks.

"Well, here: what do you like best about her?"
"..."
"Oh my god. Really? You can't think of one thing?"
"I just...love her, I don't know."
"Are you insane? Dude, she's messing with your brain, or something."
"I don't think so."
"Yeah, well what DO you think?"
"I think she's a black widow and I am a lonely spider."
"You are insane."
"Maybe."
"So, what are you going to do, then?"
"I have two choices: dive into the freezing waters of the Atlantic, or hang onto the rails and listen to the band play."
"Haha, so you're screwed either way; the Titanic goes down no matter what."
"Exactly."
"I'm telling you, man, you don't NEED a girlfriend."
"I need something."
"I'm here for you. Haha."
"Thanks."
"I don't know, maybe you should do it, if your heart leads you that way. You know?"
"Yes, but history tells us not to listen to our hearts."
"Since when?"
"Since forever, I think."
"Do whatever makes you happy, man."
"Well, she'll make me happy but then probably make me severely depressed. So, there's that. But, if I don't do anything about it, we'll both be severely depressed, and it won't ever get better."
"That's a nice way to look at it. What's there to lose?"
"Yeah."
"Mhm."
"I knew thee well."
"Hehe, yeah. You too, dude."
"Well, no, she probably won't make me happy at all. She's a blank, a dud who doesn't really care about me. Or at least, half the time she is."
"*sigh*, dude, didn't we just settle this? You have the most fickle mind of anyone I've ever met."
"I just value good decisions."
"Whatever."

Baby steps.