Estoy cansado.

"Did you ever really stare at me?"

This, I am most tired of. My stomach starts to hurt itself and I am left with the body of someone weak. I can walk places, but it hurts. I can read books for a while, but it hurts. I can smell coffee brewing and the smoke of cigarettes, but it hurts.

They were there in front of the place, smoking and grumbling about their jobs. I broke the garrison of smoke breaks and pulled open the whining, heavy door. It was so warm and cozy in the doorway, I almost fell asleep while standing up. I took my dark hood off, as to not look like an assailant of some sort. I saw a cute girl with a mug of coffee and a book. I saw some old ladies chatting, wearing massive coats and holding pretty purses. I saw men with glasses and beards illuminated by their laptop screens, looking up indifferently at my striding figure. Most tables were unoccupied. The smell was of wood and sugary pastries, and of course coffee.

Sigh, I said. Sigh and one more. I want puppies, you can stay inside in the warmth. Breathe into my coat to keep warm. I made you breakfast and you rejected it, but you tore away rapaciously at my dinner plate.

I read a book about dancing Mexican girls and the hot desert. It served me good in the cold Northern Winter. I have to know it feels.

Like Ted Dunkel, I must have been a ghost walking the steaming streets. The laundromat blew out billowing clouds of white steam that smelled like a mother draped in sweaters. But before that, they took Savannah this day in 1779 and then again in 2006. There she was, Jordana and Savannah and some other girl. She was writing; I dared not disturb her. Then someone did. I gave in my pastry, sipped quickly my iced drink and I left! I left, with my book in my large pocket. And that was that. They took Savannah, put her in a house, and locked her in there with a ball python. And she kissed me on the cheek and waded off into a pond. God knows where they all are now! Sheesh.

I'm wondering what it is you think I am, what this is, and what you think you can get from me. lol.